There are many Rubik’s cubes I have come accustomed to solving on a daily basis. Let me describe some.
There’s the Rubik’s cube of scheduling. If one daughter does a certain recreational or school based activity then all are impacted somehow and all has to be considered. So if a Tues/Thurs commitment switches to Mon/Weds/ Friday – well, the cube has to be reworked. And if a lesson or pick up time is shifted all 5 of us ladies are impacted too. And though carpools can be Godsends, it also means there are at least 6 people to think about and when more than one daughter includes a friend in our daily beats, well, there are 8 humans to consider which is over the maximum number of sides for a Rubik’s cube by the way.
There are also Rubik’s cubes that exist in other platforms. Like the Girls’ Inc parking lot. No matter how I dial it, if I park inside the lot it takes incredible ninja parking navigation to get out alive. And a lot of time to escape the parking lot trap as well. And you thought the Trader Joe’s lot was hairy, just try navigating a mini-van out of 6 square feet with lots of little girls in leotards nimbly jumping about!!
Then, there is the Rubik’s cube of nutrition. Wow. Fruits, dairy, whole fats, meats and fish, poultry, vegetables, leafy greens, grains …are you kidding me? Can any human do a Rubik’s cube with this matrix for 6 people successfully?!
Ok, finally and there are plenty I am leaving out, but there is the Rubik’s cube for general upward thriving. So as the mother, I am attentive to downtime for our daughters. I am attentive to nutritional breaks. I am attentive to exercise and chore time. I am attentive to creative time and time to do school work. I am attentive to good old-fashioned play time with the family and with the girls’ friends. I am so attentive to all these colors of the Rubik’s cube I often shoot myself in the foot.
Because life isn’t attentive to the above. Life doesn’t wait at the back gate for you right when you walk out. Life doesn’t honor your requests all the time. Life doesn’t give you a nutritionally balanced meals all the time. Life doesn’t always give you breaks when you need them. Life doesn’t wait for you to make up your mind.
I disliked, very much the Rubik’s cube as a child. It frustrated me to my core. My patience wouldn’t have it, or lack there of.
But I am raising these 4 diverse and incredibly precocious girls and I have worked to appropriate the cube to support them as life unfolds.
The only problem is: they need to work their own cubes.
They have to frustrate. They have to lose. They have to get stuck and then find their way. They have to understand their own balance. They have to navigate their own cubes.
As much as I love to nurture and hold them with as much attentiveness as possible because they are my little girls, I have to drop the cube.
Red/ let it go. It’s too much work.
Blue/ get my own breather it will benefit our kids too.
Green/ see the bigger picture and help them to see it too.
Yellow/look up and know their destinies are theirs to find.
Orange/ be there, be present and be available.
White/ just clean slate myself and them when the cube seems totally out of whack. Start over 😌
We can twist and morph and change the cube all we want. We can grip and fuss with and frustrate for hours over the color blocks to be had. We can find one side to be balanced and then flip the cube only to find… Noooooo!!! All the others are off.
It’s so unbelievable how much we can try.
But in the end, no matter our swift hands, engineering or mathematical background, ninja parking ways, or amazing culinary skills, the cube will perplex us over and over.
And O well. That is life. A complete and utter mind-boggling array of how and what to do next and deciding what is within our reach…or not.
I am learning to live by my color codes. It’s about time.
As for the cube, I am
beginning to preference a ball instead. Less rigidity, more flexibility, softness all around and no place where the colors have to be separated at all. Just a circumference of surface area that lets things play out as they should. Yessss.
To be accountable for the above, I have to write it down and share it. So if you see me nervously sitting near my van (the one with the Rudolph nose and half/antlers…((The holidays are a matrix that is pretty much untouchable and there is plenty I don’t accomplish. It makes me feel better to have a decorated car. Don’t mock me.))
Anyhow, if I am standing near my quirky car trying to figure out the cube, stop me. Remind me of a color or two. And send me on my way with anything round. Ps. Despite my nutritionally balanced layout above, I like donuts.😉
#cubesareout #circlesarein #parentingforabetterfuture #rubikscube #whyisthiscalledatoy?!